Break
by EmbraceDiversity
Summary: It wasn't supposed to be like this. It had been about feeling good and having fun. Friends with benefits. If I had known, I would have ended it a long time ago. SasuNeji, ItaGaa. One sided NaruSasu. Prologue to the SasuNeji Gakuen RP.


AN: Okay, so this is kind of the prologue to the SasuNeji gakuen that's taking place between myself and ero-chibi-chan. It's written in first person, which was me trying to experiment. I learned I hate writing in first person and will probably never do it again.

Anywho, you can catch the rest of the story (titled: **SasuNejiSasu Gakuen**) over at her account. It should be updated regularly. It's going to be **SasuNeji** and **ItaGaa**.

xxxxx

I had known from the beginning that it hadn't been about love, not really. I'm not sure what made him decide to jump from her to me, I never really thought to question it. The entire thing was just two kids being curious, that's how it had started out. Neither of us ever intended for it to go beyond kissing and yet it did. Kissing, touching, and much more.

We kept it secret for more than one reason, really. We didn't want anyone knowing that we were doing 'gay' things. For the most part, he's straight. I've never held a sexual preference, I've never really cared for romance.

And this isn't a romance. It's purely physical. Instead of going to a friend's house to play video games, we'd play video games...and have sex. It feels good and so we do it for those reasons, friends with benefits, I guess.

At least, that's how I had seen it.

Now I don't know so much anymore. To me, sex was a better way of getting off than using my hand. It didn't _mean_ anything to me and I had thought he had felt the same. I didn't know that there were people who could make you feel incredible with just a look. Who could drive you insane with lust just by licking their lips or gazing deep into your eyes. I didn't know that desiring someone could be so intense. I've never _wanted_ someone as much as I do this person, and so I had thought the solution to be simple.

Stop the friends with benefits deal.

I might not place a high value on sex but I'm not stupid, other people do. These feelings are more than just physical, however, and I know that means something. I want to _be_ with this person, I want to do those stupid relationship things that couples do. I want to go on dates and do all of that sappy teenage shit. This wasn't instantaneous; it's only been this year that I've felt this way and it's only been this month that I've finally admitted it to myself. I don't even know if this person will be into me, mostly because they're a guy and I don't think they're gay.

I guess I can officially call myself gay now, huh? It's weird, I still don't feel anything one way or another for gender, but _this_ person...it's different. Whatever, mom always said I wasn't a normal kid.

I thought it would be easy to go up to my friend and go 'let's cut this shit out'. I mean, he was still in love with that girl – or so I had thought – so no harm done. It would suck, because sex is amazing, but we'd deal. That's what I figured.

So now I feel incredibly awkward sitting here on my bed with him on the floor, staring at me like I'm some sort of fucking mental retard who just spoke gibberish. Drool and all.

"What do you mean, you wanna break up?" he asked and I raised a brow.

"Break up?" I asked incredulously. "We're _not_ together."

This was news to him, I guess, because he jumped up, looking upset and defensive. "Whaddaya mean we ain't together? Of course we are!"

If I had known he was thinking like that, I would have said something a long time ago. "Idiot, people in relationship do things _besides_ have sex. Like go on dates,"

"We do go on dates!"

"The arcade does _not_ count as a date." I've never been in a relationship and I know _that_ much. "And eating at a burger place is not taking someone out to dinner."

He deflated at this. "Yeah...but..."

Time to put in the final blow. "And you're still in love with her."

A wince. He knows I'm right and for a long time we're both quiet, sitting in my room and ignoring the television going on in the background. Well, I'm half listening. It's that show called 'Penn and Teller's Bullshit' and I kind of like it.

"There's someone else, isn't there."

He didn't phrase it as a question so I don't take it as one. I decide not to answer, because I really don't want him to know. He's my best friend, but his mouth's as big as Ino's and he'll do something stupid if I do. I guess somewhere down the line he started actually liking me and I don't want stupid drama. The guy isn't even gay...that I know of.

"You should ask her out," is what I finally say. "She's warmed up to you since freshman year, Naruto. She knows I don't like her like that. You might actually have a chance now, so –"

"What if I don't like her like that anymore, Sasuke?" blue eyes snapped up to me and all I can do is blink at him. "What if I love someone else?" _What if I love you?_

I heard the unspoken question and closed my eyes briefly. Standing, I walk over to my bedroom door and open it. "All the more reason to end this then. You should be with someone who loves you."

A cold shiver went up my spine when I heard the words. "I'm not giving up on this." As I closed the door. I should just tell him the truth, that there is someone else...but I can't. Not yet. Not until I know whether or not my feelings will be returned or if I'll get told to fuck off.

Still, those words left me with a bad feeling.

xxxxx

Remember that bad feeling I told you about?

_FIVE THOUSAND YEN TO WHOEVER CAN FIGURE OUT WHO UCHIHA SASUKE IS IN LOVE WITH._

I'm staring at the poster that's plastered all over the school with the crappiest drawing of me ever. There's a heart around a 'mystery person'. This has Naruto's name on it.

Seriously; it _literally_ has that idiot's name on it. He's the one offering the reward.

"Naruto..." from the corner of my eye I notice the thick dark aura I'm emitting is scaring off people in the halls. My hands are clenched and I really want to just break something. Preferably Naruto's _face_. I should have known he'd do this. He always does things in extremes.

So I take a few deep breaths and count to ten. I really don't want to waste the twenty thousand yen my mother spent on anger management classes for me...since if I get in trouble Itachi will rip me a new one. With that done, I walk to class. I don't bother taking down the posters, the entire school has already eaten it up long before I arrived.

The one day Naruto decides to get here before me and my life goes to hell. This is karma or something.

"I can't believe it, Sasuke-kun is really in love with someone?" I hear this as I reach the door and stand back a bit, curious.

"Yeah, I'm pretty positive." That was Naruto. "He won't tell me though! I'm his best friend!"

My brow twitches. Yeah, we're best friends, I won't deny it. But that's not the reason he wants to know.

"Well, I want to know too!" another mindless fangirl. Is it any surprise I'm gay? Is it really?

"Do you think it's a girl from this school?" fangirl number seventy-five or something. I don't know, I give them random numbers. It keeps me from flipping out on them when they annoy me en masse.

"Naw, Sasuke is definitely into dudes." I can practically hear Naruto shaking his head. "I know that much."

The dark aura from earlier fills the classroom, scaring off the fangirls. I'm now standing behind Naruto, fist raised to crush in his skull.

"Naruto..." that's his warning. He pauses and turns to look up at me. Blue eyes widen with fear. He smiles nervously, raising his hands as if to pacify me.

"S-Sasuke..." he chuckled. "You uh, heard that?"

"I'm going to kill you _so hard_..." I growl at him. "I hope you're prepared to die."

"Wait!" he started waving his hands frantically. "C'mon, don't be like that! I mean, it's not like you really _care_ what everyone else thinks and besides, how else was I gonna find out if you won't tell me?"

He has a point but it still doesn't mean he's off the hook. I don't really care if people know I'm gay – although I'm kind of just getting into the idea myself – but it doesn't mean I want my business broadcasted. But this is Naruto and he doesn't think, he just reacts.

"Whatever." I'm not in the mood to deal with it. The damage is done and maybe, just _maybe_, the fangirls will leave me alone now. I guess I should thank him, if anything. I move to go sit at my desk.

"Hey, bastard," I turn to Naruto who is giving me a serious look. "So, you gonna tell me?"

Rolling my eyes, I shrugged. "Have fun dishing out five thousand yen to whoever gets it." Which they won't, because the guy doesn't even go to this school. He already graduated. "Loser." I add, just because I know it'll rile him up.

It does, and I can't hide the smirk that emerges. I might not be in love with the idiot, but he _is_ my best friend and I do care. I'll just never admit it. Ever. Besides, it's too easy, and funny, to piss him off.

The rest of the day is pretty typical, considering. I get asked a million questions by a million girls about who I like. The 'I'm gay' thing has spread like herpes and I'm not sure how I feel about it. The fangirls still won't leave me alone and the two _openly_ gay guys in the school are now giving me looks that make me uncomfortable.

Lunch is awkward. I don't really have a lot of 'friends'. The guys I hang around at school are mostly Naruto's friends. They all acted weird and uncomfortable around me, as if I was going to start dry humping their legs suddenly. Sorry assholes, but if I didn't want you before I sure as hell don't want you now.

Oh wait, Naruto's to blame for their asinine line of thinking. Thanks, 'best friend'.

The final bell doesn't come fast enough. I'm out the door and on the streets before the echo dies down. Naruto is right behind me and I'm really not in the mood for him.

"Sasuke!" I ignore him and keep walking. The bus stop isn't far. "Sasuke, you bastard, wait up!" Naruto needs a mute button...

"Sa-suke!" the noise erupts right in my left ear and my natural reaction is to slam my fist against the idiot who _dared_ to do something like that to me. There's a crunching sound as my fist connects to Naruto's face and I have to admit, I feel a little better now. Today was hell.

Spluttering, he makes some noises I guess was supposed to be conversation and I help him up. "Stupid. What did you think was going to happen, yelling in my ear like that?"

"Damn...dat hursh..." he quickly adjusts his nose – Naruto has always had freakish healing abilities. "Did ya have to hit me so hard? It's gonna be swollen for hours!"

"Today sucked. I blame you." I start walking again. I'm not much for conversations. "You told the entire school I was gay."

"Well, aren't you?" he fell into step beside me and I shrugged.

"I guess I am now. It's just annoying."

"Yeah..." he looks sheepish and it almost makes me forgive him. Almost. He's really lucky I don't care about what other people really think about me. "But I mean, I tried to think of how I'd get you to tell me who it is you like, but I know you! You'll never tell!"

This is getting ridiculous. We're at my bus stop now and I turn to him. "What makes you think there's someone anyway? I never said there was."

He snorted. "Because you wouldn't have stopped what we were doing unless it was that. You always have a reason for doing stuff."

I decided not to argue that point, even though I could. He's right, but there could have been many reasons for me breaking it off. "Naruto, even if I _do_ like someone else, what does it matter? It won't change anything."

The hurt look on his face makes me feel a little bad. If I had known he had fallen for me, I really would have broken things off sooner. I mean; nothing had changed between us. In the beginning, we had both agreed we were just doing it because it felt good, that we weren't going to let it change our friendship.

But as fast as it shows up it's gone, replaced by a goofy grin. "Gotta know who my competition is, you know? If I know, then I can figure out how I can get you back!"

I don't point out, again, that we were never an item. "Naruto...this isn't funny. I know you're all about 'never giving up' but this..." my phone buzzes right as the bus rounds the corner. It's a text message from Itachi. I ignore it to finish my sentence but Naruto is already turning to leave.

"Well, you better catch your bus, bastard! I'll text you later tonight!" he takes off before I can say another word. This is getting irritating.

Naruto isn't going to give up without a fight. He'll keep trying to get me to like him even though I'd rather just keep my best friend. If he finds out about who I like, it'll be annoying and probably embarrassing. He's just as bad as Sakura, _she's_ still determined to win me over even after the whole 'Sasuke is gay' confirmation. I can feel the headaches already.

Flipping open my phone as I get on the bus, it's all I can do to keep my stoic look going as I read the text. Itachi won't be home for dinner tonight, leaving me alone with our roommate. With _him_. This has gone from bad to worse.

I've never been alone with _him_, he unnerves me. I feel strange and I don't always feel in control of my actions. I'm already stressed out because of today, who knows what the hell will come out of my mouth? I'm pretty sure he's straight which means if I do say something stupid, it's going to make the next five to six years of him staying with us very...awkward.

Fuck my life.


End file.
